Men Are from Earth and Women Are from Earth (Part 2): So Deal with the Different Foxes

Came home late every night.

He never had too much to say,

Too much was on his mind.

I never really knew him,

83And now it seems so sad.

Everything he gave to us took all he had.

Then the days turned into years,

And the memories to black and white.

He grew cold like an old winter wind

Blowing across my life.

The greatest words I never heard

I guess I'll never hear.

The man I thought could never die

Been dead almost a year.

He was good at business,

But there was business left to do.

He never said he loved me, guess he thought I knew. 4

God designed children with a need both for a dad and a mom (Eph 6:1-4; Col 3:20-21). They need both because their parents bring different abilities and gifts into the dynamics of family life. God designed mothers to nurture and provide the emotional support that is necessary for the healthy development of a child. Fathers provide strength and a child's sense of self-worth and security. Amazingly, even the simple presence of the man in the home can make a tremendous impact on the life of a child. That's why the death of a father is so hurtful. But the loss of a father by divorce is utterly tragic. One of my favorite theologians is Erma Bombeck. In her book Family—the Ties That Bind ... and Gag! she illustrates beautifully the importance that the presence of a father can make in the life of a child:

A friend of mine said, "A child loves his or her mother, but they live for their father." Proverbs 17:6 reminds us, "The glory of children is their fathers" (ESV).

Yes, daddies are important to the well-being of their children, but so are their mothers. We live in a day when motherhood is not held in the high esteem that it once was. Unfortunately, many women have mistakenly sacrificed the gift of motherhood and the joy of childbearing for a career and other enticements that in the long run will never deliver the joy and blessings that rearing children provides.

Several years ago someone sent me an article where one woman is speaking to another. I doubt I have ever read anything that seemed to capture in such a powerful fashion the greatness and importance of motherhood. I think every woman who reads these words will probably need a tissue at the end of the story.

Time is running out for my friend. While we are sitting at lunch, she casually mentions that she and her husband are thinking of "starting a family." What she means is that her 85biological clock has begun its countdown, and she is being forced to consider the prospect of motherhood.

Practical Applications from Song of Songs 2:15

Let's draw our attention to one area where men and women are different: the area of sex. Repeatedly we need to do some good, hard thinking about this good gift from our great God.

If only because one of them is a man and the other a woman, married couples usually have quite different attitudes and approaches to sex. Furthermore, many people may come to marriage with varying beliefs and expectations. Below is a tool5 designed to open up discussion 87about these differences. Take it with your spouse and see what you can learn about each other.

Men and women, husbands and wives, as we have seen over and over, are different by design. There is complementarity in a biblical marriage. There are also challenges. Sin puts stress on our relationship. Sometimes the "battle of the sexes" erupts. Women, in particular, are susceptible to emotional swings and outbursts. The life-changing power of the gospel, as they are being conformed to the image of Christ, is essential for their protection against the little foxes (Rom 8:29). A confidence that nothing can separate a wife from the love of Christ (Rom 8:35-39) is essential as she wages war against these little villains that only desire to harm her and her marriage.

This confidence in the love of her shepherd-king frees her to be a "woman of the Spirit." The fruit one finds in her vineyard is not immorality, impurity, idolatry, hatred, strife, jealousy, outbursts of anger, or selfish ambitions (Gal 5:19-20). No, the fruit we find in this "Eden regained and more" is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faith, gentleness, and self-control (Gal 5:22-23). These holy repellants send the little foxes scurrying. They flee the vineyard because they cannot abide by the fragrance of these gospel fruits.

Little foxes, little sins, are no match for the power of the gospel lived out by two spouses transformed by the grace of God. The love it gives is so great, "mighty waters cannot extinguish it" (Song 8:7), and little foxes cannot destroy it. The Christ-characteristics of 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 provide a protection that is other-worldly! These are wonderful verses to bring this study to a close:

This is the vineyard cultivated by my Shepherd-King-Bridegroom!