A Letter to the Fellow Fatherless on Father’s Day
I wonder if you resonate with a similar tale. Did fatherlessness tank your life’s trajectory?
Maybe it eroded even your faith.
I composed the above narrative after the first anniversary of my father’s death. Close to four years later, I still miss him dearly. My grief isn’t as acute, and my practice has recovered, thank God, but my conclusion stays the same: there’s nothing endearing about being fatherless.
Except I’m not fully fatherless. My heavenly One has promised never to abandon me—or you (Hebrews 13:5).
Ultimately—and this is coming from a fellow fatherless—there is nothing worse than being estranged from the Father from whom every family derives its name (Ephesians 3:14-15).
I get it if you view God the Father like your earthly father. Elsewhere I’ve explained why we instinctively view God like we do our fathers. If your dad was a deadbeat, you probably assume God is similar in nature.
No amount of head knowledge will persuade your heart to believe God towers in excellence compared to any father figure. As they say, the heart has reasons the mind knows nothing of.
But will you give God a chance to prove He’s a good father? Even to you?
I realize how big of an ask this is, especially if father figures—including spiritual ones—have mistreated you.
So let me share another anecdote about how responsive the Father is.
The encounter started when my heavy heart squeezed a soaking wet prayer.
He impressed Hosea 14 in response, so I scurried there and skimmed the first two verses until this one leapt at me:
I’ve never aspired to be fatherless and felt way too young for the label. Isn’t there a verse somewhere, detailing the minimum age requirement to certify one as fatherless—something like it shalt only happen after thou art Medicare-eligible?
Maybe not.
The point is, God is a nurturing Father. He knew where each verse existed in His Word and which one would soothe me in that particular moment of distress. God didn’t comfort my grief by sermonizing me regarding heaven’s existence and how I’d reunite with my father there.
He instead pinpointed a verse that communicated two simple truths:
First, He knew about me and my new (and unwanted) fatherless status.
And second, I qualified for His mercy because of the above point.
God was telling me that He not only knew about my present pain, but also promised to protect my future—because His mercy endures forever (Psalm 136).
I opted to publicize my private encounter with the Lord because God doesn’t play favorites (Acts 10:34, Romans 2:11). If He bandaged my father wounds tenderly, you can expect Him to nurse yours as gently.
But will you give God a chance to woo you?
Please consider the request in light of Paul’s words. “You have received the Spirit of full acceptance, enfolding you into the family of God. And you will never feel orphaned, for as he rises up within us, our spirits join him in saying the words of tender affection, ‘Beloved Father!’ For the Holy Spirit makes God’s fatherhood real to us as he whispers into our innermost being, ‘You are God’s beloved child!’” (Romans 8: 15-16, TPT).
Brandon Janous joined Abby & Regan on The Real Deal of Parenting Podcast to talk about the loss of his wife, Rachel, and how life has been different for him and his 3 children. The wealth of goodness that Brandon shares is incredible for any widower or single parent. Brandon had Abby & Regan both laughing and in tears. Listen now by clicking the play button below!
Photo Credit: ©Getty Images/MarioGuti
