How Validating Others Helps Us Love Like Jesus
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Validation might sound like the latest mental health buzzword, but it’s not. There are a number of instances in the Bible where we see validation play a powerful role in loving others.
Not so, for God ultimately replies to Job’s lamentations, and His response indicates that He does indeed listen to us even if we, as mere humans, have no idea as to why suffering occurs or why evil exists. Job repents of his lack of understanding, and God blesses him. His feelings are validated.
Jesus also exemplifies this. In Luke 8:43-48, a woman is so desperate for His healing that she sneaks up and touches the hem of His robe. He notices instantly.
“Then the woman, seeing that she could not go unnoticed, came trembling and fell at his feet. In the presence of all the people, she told why she had touched him and how she had been instantly healed. Then he said to her, ‘Daughter, your faith has healed you. Go in peace’” (v. 47-48).
We also see validation examples in the healing of the Canaanite woman in Matthew 15:21-28 and the healing of the convulsing son in Mark 9:20-25. God sees, God listens—and God heals.
Indeed, 2 Corinthians 12:9-10 assures us God does not walk away from us in our pain. Rather, He calls us to celebrate our weakness in honor and recognition of His strength.
In a way, validation is a form of hospitality. Jesus turned no one away. He ate with the tax collectors and the socially unacceptable. He said he came not to call the righteous, but sinners (Mark 2:17). He spent time with them, heard them, and showed them the light that is God the Father.
Romans 15:7 urges us, “Accept one another, then, just as Christ accepted you, in order to bring praise to God.”
Galatians 3:28 says, “There is neither Jew nor Gentile, neither slave nor free, nor is there male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus.”
And Galatians 5:14 reminds, “For the entire law is fulfilled in keeping this one command: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’”
When we have feelings, we want to be heard. Our feelings aren’t necessarily right, but they are real.
For example, my three-year-old son once bit me because I took his toy truck. His behavior wasn’t acceptable—physical violence is not an appropriate response ever. But I sought to understand him. I knew he was upset, and I put myself fin his shoes.
He wanted to play with that truck, and now it was gone. Maybe he thought it was gone forever. I looked into his eyes and saw his frustration and anger. I empathized with him and acknowledged his feelings. I put a name to those feelings: “You are angry because Mommy took your truck.” My son blinked and nodded in relief. That was validation: I heard him. I saw him. I felt his pain.
Validation can strengthen your relationship, help your loved one feel accepted and heard, and help them regulate their own emotions better. Then they can learn what is acceptable behavior.
The Bible is our source of truth. As 2 Timothy 3:16-17 notes, “All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, so that the servant of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work.” And this is indeed true—the Bible was written over thousands of years by men inspired directly by God.
Over and over, we see prophecies prove to be true. Jesus also affirms this as correct, as on the road to Emmaus, Jesus spoke to the disciples, “And beginning with Moses and all the Prophets, he explained to them what was said in all the Scriptures concerning himself” (Luke 24:27).
People need to understand their feelings and then learn to steer themselves in the way of the Lord. When we repress our feelings, they begin to fester like a wound and become infected. Or they bubble and churn beneath the earth like a volcano, finally erupting.
Knowing our feelings are valid, and then analyzing them and shaping them in light of the Truth found in Holy Scripture, is a good path to healing and wholeness in Christ.
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