5 Intentional Questions to Ask When Dating
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What problem areas might we have in the way I spend money? The way you do? What would you economize on that I might not? Do you feel we can talk about these matters regularly without getting angry?
As you may have heard, money can be a huge contributor to marital conflict. Talking about finances early helps create a clear expectation and understanding of how each person processes and acts.
It is a humble conversation to have, asking your significant other what problem areas you might have with money. Learning how to talk about finances with peace and understanding is very helpful before sharing a bank account. You can tell a lot about a person based on how they spend and save their money.
How would you describe the role of a husband? Of a wife?
A question that may seem so basic, yet is very important is asking “how would you describe the role of a husband or wife?” Everyone is influenced by faith, family, and culture when it comes to views of a husband or wife. It is ok to have a little bit of a differing view, but is there flexibility? Is there a peace about the expectations? Is there a beautiful agreement on how a house is run?
Every marriage looks unique. Some wives or husbands do all of the cooking, some couples tag team. Some men do all of the yard work and women do most of the indoor work. Some couples believe the man is the main financial provider, where other couples share the load. Drew and I have a clear picture of how we view our roles, but also a willingness to help in responsibilities that are not typically “our own” if the other needs help.
We once heard the wise words from our pre-marital mentors, “Marriage is not I give 50, you give 50. Marriage is I will give you 100% regardless of what you give.” (Note: If you are in an abusive situation, please do not apply this to you.) Marriage is truly loving like Christ – selflessly.
A lot of dating is the butterfly feelings, the adventure of getting to know someone new, and the determination if you want to continue pursuing a relationship long-term. It is important to ask hard questions as you further your bond. I pray that going through these questions will bless you in the long-run as it did for me and my husband. It is within the vulnerable discussions that we find greater connections with one another and considerable confirmation to move forward.
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