3 Dangers of an Entitled Attitude
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It used to be, to win a trophy in a sports competition, you actually had to win. Now you only need show up! In the participation trophy culture, everyone, no matter what they’ve done, how hard they worked, or how they may have acted gets a trophy. For young kids, perhaps, we can all see the value of acknowledging that they tried their best and are learning. But accolades that do not accompany earned rewards or support good behavior wind up producing an adult generation known by an ugly, unthankful, entitled attitude.
It seems that in many cases, hard work and commitment are becoming antiquated and outdated values. Instead of working hard, we have entered an age of working the system. Where did this culture come from and how we can escape it?
An Unthankfulness Epidemic
The Apostle Paul writes a warning about the last days generation which seems to describe what we see in our modern culture:
“But know this, that in the last days perilous times will come: For men will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boasters, proud, blasphemers, disobedient to parents, unthankful, unholy, unloving, unforgiving, slanderers, without self-control, brutal, despisers of good, traitors, headstrong, haughty, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God, having a form of godliness but denying its power. And from such people turn away!” (2 Timothy 3:1-5, emphasis added).
Isn’t this description characteristic of our topsy-turvy, upside-down, right is wrong and wrong is right world? Especially notice that right in the middle of Paul’s list is “unthankful.”
To be thankful means to be appreciative, to have an inward awareness of having been fortunate or well treated. It encompasses a person’s attitude toward his or her good fortune, having a warm feeling toward the person responsible for that good fortune, and the voluntary expression of gratitude.
This attitude is one that Jesus Himself expects us to possess, and being “unthankful” is actually not a modern phenomenon at all! Remember the account of the ten lepers in Luke 17:11-19? Ten men received healing from Jesus as they went on their way, but only one returned to give thanks to God. And what was Jesus’ response?
“Were there not ten cleansed? But where are the nine?” (Luke 17:17).
Ten lepers were rescued, cleansed, and given a brand-new beginning, yet only one had the proper attitude of gratitude. Where were the others? They still suffered, but from a lack of gratitude.
When you are “unthankful,” you honestly think the world owes me, I am entitled, and I deserve it.
Origins of Entitlement
Simply stated, the attitude of entitlement first comes from having a distorted view of God.
Some people think that God originally created everything (the world, the universe, and mankind), but that’s all He’s going to do, regardless of how badly out of control things get. Some people think God is like our grandpa who was strong and active in the day, but now sits in a chair on the front porch and winks at the sin in the Church, saying “Oh you know, kids will be kids!” Some think God only lives in a church building that we visit on weekends (or even less in the summer during baseball season). And some think God is always angry, and like an ogre, treats the whole world as a toy for His amusement, tracking our sins and meting out punishment at random.
And today, some see God as a genie in a bottle. Rub the lamp when you need help and poof, He grants your every wish. There is no need to serve God, connect intimately with Him, obey His word, or fellowship with the Body at a local church.
While it is His will to bless us with things to richly enjoy (Romans 8:32; Matthew 7:11), He doesn’t owe us. That is, we are not “entitled” to anything! He is not a genie that exists for our pleasure; rather, we exist for His pleasure.
“Thou art worthy, O Lord, to receive glory and honor and power: for thou hast created all things, and for thy pleasure they are and were created” (Revelation 4:11).
We owe Him everything: our lives, our financial resources, and our gifts and talents. Moreover, we must realize every blessing we have, from the least to the greatest, is a blessing from God. It’s only because of Him that we have what we have, whether it’s life, family, job, material possessions, peace, or intelligence – it all comes from God!
So when we hold a distorted view of God and disconnect our blessings as coming from Him, we can become unthankful and adopt an attitude of entitlement of the type we see in our current culture, which has several negative effects.
1. We Are Blinded to Our Blessings
“In everything give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you” (1 Thessalonians 5:18).
Do you realize that America’s lowest income earners are much richer than a majority of the world’s population? But when we feel “entitled,” we are blinded to the reality of how blessed we really are.
Paul said, “In everything give thanks.” Now that’s not thanks for everything (meaning, everything that happens to us is not necessarily of God). Paul said we should give thanks in everything. It has a profound effect on what happens in us and for us when we give thanks in everything.
Many years ago, as a young husband and father working in the ministry (and a few other jobs), I became very discouraged. I felt that no matter how much I worked, we simply did not have enough. Frankly, I got a little angry with God and accused Him of not providing for my family. Then I heard Him begin to ask me questions, as I walked around our apartment… Where did you get that (our new, beautiful bedroom furniture)? “Well, it was a gift.” And, where did you get those (our kitchen dishes and flatware)? “They were a gift also.” On and on we went, God asking and me replying… it was a gift. God was indeed providing for me, through others. But my focus on my temporary needs had distorted my view of God, and I became blinded to my numerous blessings.
2. We Are Blinded to God’s Standards
When we disconnect our blessings as coming from God, we distance ourselves from Him and it eventually leads to unholy living. We can lose the fear of God, which is simply reverence and respect for God in the way in which we conduct our lives.
People who feel entitled, unthankful, or reject that their blessings come from the gracious hand of God, consequently lose their reverence for God and His standards. The result is ill-mannered, impure, unclean, lewd, rude and crude behaviors which the Bible calls “unholy” or “unsacred,” by people who become vain in their imaginations (Romans 1:21). Vain imaginations describe people who are actually mentally unwell, and diminished in their ability to reason logically. When we distort or distance ourselves from God, the result is vain imaginations which lead us into unholy behaviors.
3. We Are Blinded to God’s Existence
Ultimately, when we are unthankful, we can easily slide into a life of self-aggrandizement and sin, with the result being a rejection of God by simply re-imagining Him.
“For although they knew God, they neither glorified him as God nor gave thanks to him, but their thinking became futile and their foolish hearts were darkened. Although they claimed to be wise, they became fools and exchanged the glory of the immortal God for images made to look like a mortal human being and birds and animals and reptiles” (Romans 1:21-23).
Paul speaks of a self-centered and unthankful people who foolishly re-imagined God into a being that would fit their mold, one who would condone behaviors that they wanted to engage in. Or sometimes people just wipe out the existence of God from their minds entirely so there is no standard at all for what is right and what is wrong.
“The fool has said in his heart, ‘There is no God.’ They are corrupt, they have done abominable works, there is none who does good” (Psalm 14:1, NKJV).
Live Thankful
“Count your blessings, name them one by one! Count your blessings, see what God has done!” - Johnson Oatman, Jr. (1897)
In order to “live thankful,” we must always keep eternity in mind. A person’s actions are deeply affected by what they believe. If we believe we will give an account to God for the way we live our lives, that will affect the way we live on a daily basis.
“Everyone must die once, and after that be judged by God” (Hebrews 9:27).
Whether we are a believer or unbeliever, we will give an account of our lives. That doesn’t mean live morbidly or miserably. God wants us to enjoy life. As a matter of fact, Jesus came to give us abundant and eternal life.
So enjoy life, but live circumspectly, with eternity in mind. That means that we accept that sometimes a loss here is actually a win there. And in the end, it is the wins there that will truly matter!
Love People
We must love people enough to stand for truth, confront vain imaginations, and tell them about Jesus. Remember the Samaritan woman at the well. When Jesus met her there, she was hurting from living a life without regard to God.
She had been with many men and was publicly shamed and rejected by polite society. She initially rejected the travelling Jewish rabbi who dared to speak to her, a Samaritan woman, and asked for her assistance at the well. But Jesus loved her anyway, persisted through her defenses, and helped her process through her issues. When she was finally convinced, she brought the whole village out to meet their Messiah, as Christianity’s first evangelist!
This is God’s call to us for our generation – continue to be lights in this dark, unthankful and entitled world. Stand for truth and don’t compromise. But remember that God is not angry, waiting to “get” people who have gotten off track. Like the Samaritan woman, we should love people enough to bring them to the cross. Jesus continues to reach out His hands to broken humanity, even to those of our participation trophy generation, to save, redeem and transform into the image of Christ.
Photo credit: ©Getty Images/YakobchukOlena
