How Does the Bible Say We Should Respond to Bitterness?

Writer

Updated March 28, 2023

In a world full of sin, illness, pain, and sorrow, it is easy to look around and feel confused. It is natural to ask where God is during hard times. Looking around, it can seem like life has been unfair, unnecessarily difficult, and as if everything has conspired against you. This feeling can manifest in several ways, some good and some bad.

One of the negative responses the Bible warns against is bitterness. Whether it is verses about it, or examples of individuals who struggled with it, God’s Word shows the danger of clinging to anger, hatred, resentment, and jealousy. It can twist the individual, their perceptions, and the way they treat others.

Identifying what bitterness is, as well as what causes it, can help believers avoid it, and grow closer to God, rather than away from Him.

What Is Bitterness?

Bitterness, when referring to the emotion and not the sensory experience, is, “hard to bear; distressful; acrid.” Translating those words into emotions can be difficult, so looking at commonly used synonyms can provide more insight.

Some words that mean the same thing as bitterness include: fierce, cruel, ruthless, acrimonious, caustic, sardonic, and scornful. The image of a bitter person is someone who is always angry, never satisfied, never has a kind word to say, and resents their situation regardless of the actual circumstances.

Where Is Bitterness Mentioned in the Bible?

When the Bible speaks of bitterness, it is often tied to another emotion. In the Book of Job, many emotions and intellectual arguments are in display, and tied together. Job, understandably, mourns for his losses, which included his children, his crops, and all his earthly wealth. He laments for many chapters.

That sorrow begins to change, and he cries to God, “I loathe my life; I will give free utterance to my complaint; I will speak in the bitterness of my soul … Does it seem good to you to oppress, to despise the work of your hands and favor the designs of the wicked?” (Job 10:1, 3). Job’s sorrow has consumed him, and turned into something else - bitterness. He asked God why He was letting evil and tragedy happen to a righteous man like himself, while letting bad people have riches and joy.

Job acknowledges this sentiment as bitterness. He goes beyond asking God why something bad happened, to implying that God is out of line for it. Chapter 10 of Job is full of these questions: “Did you not pour me out like milk and curdle me like cheese? (verse 10); “Why did you bring me out from the womb? (verse 18a). These sentiments of being abused by God, and that it would have been better to have never been born, are hallmarks of a bitter spirit.

What Does Bitterness Do to You?

Bitterness is an all-consuming emotion that becomes the primary measuring stick against which every aspect of life is held, and found unacceptable. Job’s sorrow turned to bitterness because he began to compare himself and his life to others he deemed less worthy of blessings, turning his heart against his God. He laments his life, wishing he had never been born. These strong sentiments keep the individual stuck there, meditating only on these negative aspects of life.

It is important to note the original feelings, in Job’s case - grief, are valid. Instead, the difference between bitterness and the feeling it grew from is the way the individual sees their relationship with God, and the way that person allows it to change them. Instead of embracing and going to God for comfort, bitterness sets man against God, calling Him unfair and unloving.

Paul shows how toxic bitterness is by listing off what other emotions come alongside it, “Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice (Ephesians 4:31). Strong anger, a desire to speak badly about others, and envy are the bedfellows of bitterness.

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Who Struggled with Bitterness in the Bible?

As mentioned earlier, Job experienced moments of bitterness during his trials, but he is not the only figure in Scripture who struggles with that poisonous root. The Book of Jonah recounts how God called the titular prophet to go to Nineveh so the people there would repent and be saved. Jonah’s hatred of the citizens of that city led him to flee, though God brought him back in the belly of a great fish. Jonah did as God asked him, but was angry when the Ninevites sincerely repented.

He sulked outside the city, but God allowed a plant to grow and then die. The prophet asked for death because of the loss of the plant. But God responds, “You pity the plant, for which you did not labor, nor did you make it grow, which came into being in a night and perished in a night. And should not I pity Nineveh, that great city, in which there are more than 120,000 persons who do not know their right hand from their left, and also much cattle?” (Jonah 4:10-11).

Jonah allowed his resentment of the Ninevites to grow into bitterness, preferring to have a plant for shade than see 120,000 people saved from damnation. He cried for death rather than live without the plant or return to the city. God’s chastisement shows how incorrect Jonah’s priorities were. This chapter serves as a concise but powerful example of what bitterness looks like.

One of the Bible’s many redemption stories is Naomi, Ruth’s mother-in-law. When Scripture introduces her, she has already suffered famine, living in a strange land, widowhood, and the death of her two sons. She even tried to push her daughters-in-law away, but Ruth refused, returning with Naomi to her homeland. She said, “Do not call me Naomi; call me Mara, for the Almighty has dealt very bitterly with me. I went away full, and the Lord has brought me back empty” (Ruth 1:20b-21).

Naomi means pleasant, and Mara means bitter. She refused her own name because she felt God dealt harshly and unfairly with her. She allowed her understandable grief to morph into a root of bitterness. Rather than leaning on God for comfort, she sees Him as the source of her problems. God uses that last of Naomi’s personal connections - distant relative Boaz and daughter-in-law Ruth - to restore happiness and a family line to Naomi’s life. In fact, that line would eventually include the Messiah, Jesus Christ. Ruth’s commitment to staying with Naomi serves as an example for friends and family of someone struggling with bitterness. She remained patient, loyal, and loving.

How to Combat Bitterness

The Bible warns in several places about the dangers of allowing the heart to control all aspects of life because, “The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately sick; who can understand it?” (Jeremiah 17:9). When trials come, there will be emotions that accompany them. When someone allows those emotions to distort the individual’s view of God, that person is beginning to allow bitterness to take over.

Instead, the Bible encourages believers, “Strive for peace with everyone, and for the holiness without which no one will see the Lord. See to it that no one fails to obtain the grace of God; that no ‘root of bitterness’ springs up and causes trouble, and by it many become defiled” (Hebrews 12:14-15). It contrasts peace with bitterness, in part because one cannot be at peace with God and embittered against other people.

Keeping one’s eyes on God’s goodness and faithfulness is important when struggling with feelings of bitterness. When Satan begins to twist feelings of pain, anger, or sorrow when problems and difficulties come into the roots of bitterness, it is important to cling to Jesus. As the writer of Hebrews encouraged, “let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God” (Hebrews 12:1b-2).

This world is sin-cursed and fallen, but Jesus died to redeem mankind. Hope is not in a perfect life here on earth, but in an eternity with the Savior, Jesus Christ. The closer someone draws together to the Lord, and the more influence the believer allows the Holy Spirit to have, the harder it is for bitterness to take hold.

Sources

Lutzer, Erwin. When You’ve Been Wronged: Moving from Bitterness to Forgiveness. Chicago: Moody Publishers, 2007.

Priolo, Lou. Bitterness: The Root that Pollutes. Phillipsburg: P&R Publishing, 2008.

Bethany Verrett is a freelance writer who uses her passion for God, reading, and writing to glorify God. She and her husband have lived all over the country serving their Lord and Savior in ministry. She has a blog on graceandgrowing.com.