Do We Know How Old Joseph Was When He Married Mary?
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The Holy Family is the centerpiece of most Christmas Nativity scenes. Baby Jesus, the Virgin Mary, and Joseph. But how old was Joseph when he married Mary? Was he a teen heartthrob, an older businessman, or even a widower? The Bible gives few details about who Joseph was and his actions surrounding Jesus’ birth. The Gospel of Matthew communicates the birth of Jesus from Joseph’s perspective, which gives us the most details about Joseph and how old Joseph might have been when he married Mary.
Does the Bible Say How Old Joseph Was When He Married Mary?
No verse gives us a specific parameter for Joseph’s age when he married Mary. We are first introduced to Joseph in Matthew 1:16 in the genealogy of Jesus and then again in Matthew 1:18, as the one Mary was pledged to marry. The Bible states in Luke 1:27 that Mary was “a virgin pledged to be married to a man named Joseph, a descendant of David.” We aren’t even told Joseph is a carpenter until Matthew 13:54, when Jesus returns to Nazareth after starting his ministry.
But why is Joseph’s age not included in the story of Jesus’ birth? Knowing how old Joseph was when he married Mary and when Jesus was born isn’t crucial to the events of Jesus’ birth. As evangelical preacher William Graham Scrogge observes, “Matthew wrote his Gospel primarily for his fellow Jews.” If people reading the Gospel of Matthew were aware of Jewish customs in betrothal and marriage, Joseph’s age or age range could be assumed. But what is said about Joseph points to why he and Mary were chosen to be the earthly parents of the Son of God. In Matthew 1:19, we are told that “Joseph was faithful to the law” and that ‘he had in mind to divorce her quietly” speaks a lot about his humble and compassionate spirit. But Joseph had an important role in the fulfillment of prophecy. (Micah 5:2)
Can We Guess How Old Joseph Was When He Married Mary?
If we investigate the betrothal and marriage customs of 1st century Israel, we can guess how old Joseph was when he married Mary. H.B. Tristram states that “betrothal invariable precedes actual marriage, sometimes by several years, as children of tender age are not infrequently affianced to cement or strengthen an alliance between two families.” Women were typically in their young teens when they were betrothed, with their future husbands a few years older. Crosswalk contributor Whitney Hopler says, “Considering the cultural context of early marriage and the widespread practice of young men taking on significant responsibilities, it’s plausible that Joseph was a young man in his late teens or early 20s when he married Mary.”
Men were considered eligible to become betrothed after they performed their Bar Mitzvah at the age of thirteen. The length of a betrothal was typically a year. But they were also expected to be able to support their wife and future children. So, we can rule out Joseph being as young as thirteen or fourteen.
We are told in Matthew 13:54 that Joseph was a carpenter in Nazareth. To be a skilled worker in most biblical professions required an apprenticeship of several years to learn the skills needed. Carpenter apprenticeships were typically four to six years. If Joseph started his apprenticeship at thirteen, it would place him at seventeen to nineteen.
To end the time of betrothal and officially enter marriage, the bridegroom had to welcome the bride into his home. We can assume that Joseph would have had to have a home he brought Mary into after the angel Gabriel came to Joseph in a dream. “When Joseph woke up, he did what the angel of the Lord had commanded him and took Mary home as his wife.” This action ended the season of betrothal and was the official moment they became husband and wife.
We are also given another clue to Joseph’s age when he takes Jesus to be presented at the temple as a baby. In Luke 2:24, we are told that Joseph and Mary “offer a sacrifice in keeping with what is said in the Law of the Lord: “a pair of doves or two young pigeons.” This offering was a poor man’s offering. From Theology in Five Minutes, we are told that carpenters “played a crucial role in everyday life and was vital for the construction of homes, furniture, tools, and much more. Although wood was often scarce, its limited availability only heightened the importance of the carpenter’s skills, transforming them into highly sought-after craftsmen.” Even from Matthew 13, when the people of Nazareth identify Jesus as the ‘carpenter’s son,’ which could indicate that Joseph was one of the only carpenters in that town. So, if he gave a poor man’s sacrifice when he presented Jesus at the temple, he could have been at the beginning of his carpentry career. Again, these are assumptions based on our modern knowledge of Middle Eastern culture during the first century.
But some have a different view of Joseph’s age when he married Mary. In the Catholic tradition, Mary is believed to have been a perpetual virgin even after the birth of Jesus. When we come to Mathew 13:55 and are introduced to Jesus’ brothers, James, Joseph, Simon, and Judas (sisters are not named but mentioned in Matthew 13:56), we are presented with a conflict to this idea that Mary had no other children.
Donald Fairbairn states, “The Second Council of Constantinople recognized Mary as Aeiparthenos, meaning “ever-virgin.” The Catholic tradition considers Mary a perpetual virgin partially based on the extra-biblical books known as the Gospel of James (written in the late second century) and the History of Joseph the Carpenter(written in the late sixth or seventh century AD). These documents state that Joseph was married and had six children before marrying Mary and was in his forties when he married Mary. Neither the Gospel of James nor The History of Joseph the Carpenter are in the accepted biblical canon, in Catholicism or other traditions. However, similar ideas appear in Catholic tradition, so these books may be used to support the idea that Mary was a perpetual virgin.
While how old Joseph was when he married Mary is not specifically told to us, we do know that Joseph was chosen as the earthly father of Jesus because his family line would lead Mary and Joseph to Bethlehem, the city of David, for Jesus’ birth.
We are also told Joseph was faithful to the law (Matthew 1:19) and obedient to the commands of the Lord (Matthew 1:24). Those are the qualities that would have been important to the Jewish audience of the gospel of Matthew. These are the qualities we should focus on when reading about the birth of Jesus. Whether Joseph was young or old when he married Mary is not what qualified him to be the foster father of Jesus. It was a part of God’s plan to rescue the world from sin and fulfill the promises God had given to the people of Israel since Adam and Eve’s fall from grace (Genesis 3:15).
No matter if we are young or old, rich or poor, God can and will be faithful to equip us to be a servant of his gospel. We have to be willing and faithful, like Mary and Joseph.
Photo Credit: © Getty Images/Studio-Annika
You can find out more about Valerie, her books, and her blog at www.valeriefentress.com.
This article is part of our larger Christmas and Advent resource library centered around the events leading up to the birth of Jesus Christ. We hope these articles help you understand the meaning and story behind important Christian holidays and dates and encourage you as you take time to reflect on all that God has done for us through His Son, Jesus Christ!
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