Where Is the Line with Gossiping?
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No matter how you spell it, gossip is a three-letter word — sin. Talk is talk, but when a conversation’s motive moves toward disparaging or denigrating another’s character, it becomes the sin the Bible calls gossip. The Bible takes gossip very seriously, for it (and its synonyms) is included in passages of evil behaviors (e.g., Proverbs 25:23; Ezekiel 36:3). Whether for exalting oneself or for the defamation of another, gossip is a result of pride, and pride drove Lucifer out of heaven to become the devil (Isaiah 14:12-14). Pride is at the top of the list of things God hates (Proverbs 6:16-19), and one of the ways Satan tries to devour us is by tickling our pride and inciting gossip.
The line drawn regarding gossip is clear; the Bible tells us to stay clear of it (Proverbs 20:19). We’ll see what God’s Word says about gossip and respect how we are to respond to it and how to use our speech in a godly way.
Where Does the Bible Mention Gossip?
Direct references to gossip, gossips, and gossiping are mentioned in the ESV in Proverbs 25:23, Ezekiel 36:3, 2 Corinthians 12:20, Romans 1:29, and 1 Timothy 5:13. But the cross-references and allusions equating gossip to evil behavior are numerous. Looking through a concordance will give you days’ worth of cross-references to study what the Scriptures say about gossip.
The first mention of the idea of gossip, however, is in Leviticus 19:16, in which the Bible uses a pointed synonym. “You shall not go about as a slanderer among your people; and you are not to jeopardize the life of your neighbor. I am the LORD” (emphasis added). Here, we see gossip as slander, and for it to be mentioned in the list of laws lets us know how important proper and holy speech is to the Lord. Gossip is forbidden. Period.
How Does the Bible Define Gossip?
God’s Word uses a number of terms and phrases that leave no doubt how God defines gossip. Gossip is defined in the Bible by the actions and character of those who partake in the sin. Pastor Matt Mitchell says this about the biblical view of gossip, “The Bible often uses the word gossip to describe a kind of person more than just a pattern of communication. My way of summarizing the Bible’s teaching on this topic is to say that the sin of gossip is bearing bad news behind someone’s back out of a bad heart. This functional definition considers the action itself, the content of the corrupt communication, the situation in which it occurs, and perhaps most importantly, the motivations of the people involved.”
Gossip’s counterpart is slander, and the Holman Illustrated Bible Dictionary defines slander as, “To speak critically of another person with the intent to hurt.” Gossip is never given mention in the Bible as a good thing; it’s always evil. In fact, it, along with slander are among the most condemned sins in the Bible.
A few ways gossip is defined in the Bible:
Ezekiel 36:3 describes gossip as evil.
In 2 Corinthians 12:20, gossip is included in a list of unrepentant sins committed by the warring factions of the Corinthian church.
In Romans 1:30, gossip is akin to a “backbiter.”
Ecclesiastes 10:11 equates gossiping with the imagery of a snake charmer who seeks to sway a person’s opinion with “a murmured enchantment.”
Vines Expository Dictionary marries gossip with “open slander.”
A gossiper is called a “simple babbler,” which can also be written, a foolish gossip (See also Proverbs 10:18).
In Ephesians 4:29 uses “corrupting talk.” Not only is the subject of the gossip being slandered, so too is the audience corrupted by the malevolent talk.
Gossip is also called secret whisperings (or secret slander).
The Apostle Paul, in Romans 1:29, says, “They were filled with all manner of unrighteousness, evil, covetousness, malice. They are full of envy, murder, strife, deceit, maliciousness. They are gossips.” We can plainly see gossips live in the company of ungodly people, sharing their sins.
Sadly, studies show women are the most likely to gossip, but men don’t fall too far behind (67% of women gossip vs 55% of men). In their book, The Quick-Reference Guide to Counseling Women, Doctors Tim Clinton and Diane Langberg state, “Gossip exploits the personal issues or matters of another person. Someone who gossips habitually reveals personal or sensational facts about others. Such conversations typically involve rumors, opinions, or inside information… [Gossip] is not an innocent pastime. It is sin.”
How Can Christians Use Their Speech to Honor God?
Knowing what gossip is and how the Lord regards it as evil, we can now look to the Word to learn how we are to communicate with others.
As many times as the Bible tells us how to act with righteousness (Ephesians 6:14b), it also encourages (commands) us to honor the Lord with our speech (Psalm 141). We need to remember God’s standards are not man’s standards. In Matthew 12:36, Jesus said, “I tell you, on the day of judgment people will give account for every careless word they speak,” God is not stingy with commands for holy living, which includes speaking from a righteous heart and mind. We gain them by virtue of His Word and His Spirit dwelling in us.
Following are a few passages which help us to know how to guard our hearts and tongues:
“For whoever desires to love life and see good days, let him keep his tongue from evil and his lips from speaking deceit” (1 Peter 3:10).
“So put away all malice and all deceit and hypocrisy and envy and all slander” (1 Peter 2:1).
“Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear” (Ephesians 4:29).
“Do not speak evil against one another, brothers. The one who speaks against a brother or judges his brother, speaks evil against the law and judges the law. But if you judge the law, you are not a doer of the law but a judge” (James 4:11).
How Can Christians Respond to Gossip Among Friends and in the Workplace?
You may have been privy to these conversation starters (aka gossip):
“Let’s pray for Susan. She’s caught up in an affair.”
“Can you believe what Tom did? He has no business…”
“I don’t like Karen, she doesn’t believe the way we do.”
“John really hurt Simone, he…”
“Did you hear what nonsense they are studying in that group?”
“Pastor really blew that sermon!”
Oftentimes gossip begins with what seems to be a sincere desire to explain and/or solve a problem or concern for another, but if the information is inflammatory, denigrates or slanders a person or group, is unsubstantiated or otherwise puts a person in a bad light, it’s gossip.
Many times, a person may be drawn into gossip while in the midst of a casual and innocent conversation. Another person’s name will come up and the participants are unwittingly pulled in a direction they did not envision or intend. Often a name will be brought up with the proviso, “let’s pray for so and so, because he/she is…” It’s time to, in either case, turn the conversation toward godly talk or, if no one follows suit, leave the conversation all together.
A number of biblical responses and actions may be taken when a Christian is subjected to gossip. So many passages in the Bible give us counsel on righteous speech and behavior, but two should come immediately to mind:
1. Luke 6:31 gives us Jesus’ words as He recited the beatitudes to His disciples. He said, “And as you wish that others would do to you, do so to them.” We know this admonition as the golden rule, and, as Jennifer Heeren states, “In Mark 12:30-31, Jesus said, ‘You must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, all your mind, and all your strength. The second is equally important: Love your neighbor as yourself. No other commandment is greater than these.’ Without doing the first part, you really don’t have the ability to even try the second part. When you strive to love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, mind, and strength, you gain the help of the Holy Spirit which helps you to love other people.”
Loving the Lord God first and then other people will guide our defenses and offenses as we engage in conversation with them.
2. “Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. What you have learned and received and heard and seen in me — practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you” (Philippians 4:8-9).
What proceeds from our lips has been formed in our hearts (Luke 6:45). If we think as the Apostle Paul commands in Philippians 4:8-9, our responsive speech to the gossipers will reflect all those Christlike characteristics.
Pursue Righteousness
In both of these passages, we are reminded of who we are and Whom we represent. When gossip strikes a conversation, pray for the wisdom the Lord always gives when we ask in faith (James 1:5). Also, the Holy Spirit will bring to mind Scripture to help you counsel those involved (Ephesians 6:17-18). If you can, calmly stop the conversation or steer it in another direction. If the others refuse to cease, walk away. If possible, speak to each individual later and explain why you walked away. Don’t fall for self-defensiveness or justifications. Remain steadfast in your faith and obedience to the Lord to “not associate with a simple babbler” (Proverbs 20:19). A babbler is another term for a gossip.
Even though we will be confronted at times with negative thoughts and comments (even our own), we must strive to intercept what might flow from negativity with godly wisdom. Problems exist within the church, too, and by their very nature they are negative (e.g., a believer may be angry with how a Christian brother or sister is being persecuted for their faith, or they might take issue with a new law being passed that rewards ungodly actions). Our role is to remain self-controlled and give counsel as we are filled and led by the Holy Spirit.
Some issues may come up which have negative ramifications if left unsolved. The purpose, once again, is to seek restitution and godly restoration.
When the sin of a brother or sister is revealed, God calls us to lovingly confront and rebuke them Galatians 6:1; Matthew 18:5; 2 Timothy 3:16). It’s important to remember that as we lovingly rebuke and correct, our goal is to restore them (as Galatians 6:1 says).
We’ve learned the Bible is clear about gossip being a sin. We’ve also learned God has given us many remedies for both dealing with gossip and its ramifications as well as commands for and examples of righteous speech. If you have been involved with gossip, remember to go first to the Lord (1 John 1:9) and then go with humility and compassion to others against and/or with whom you have sinned (Matthew 5:23-24).
Let’s pray.
Father,
As we consider Your words about gossip, what it is and who takes part in it, we are reminded of the serious nature of how we live in this world. We are to be in but not of it, and gossip, while not confined to the world, reflects the world’s hold on us as Christians — if we let it. Help us as only You can, to keep our speech gracious and seasoned with salt for the edification and encouragement of the saints and for the watching world, that people may see Your goodness through us. May You be glorified in us.
In Jesus’ name and for His glory we pray,
Amen.
Photo credit: ©Getty Images/Paul Bradbury
