VII. The Wise Wife and Mother (Proverbs 31:10-31)

VII. The Wise Wife and Mother (31:10-31)

31:10 The final passage of Proverbs is one of the best known in Scripture. King Lemuel’s mother gave him a portrait of what a wise wife and mother looks like. Who can find a wife of noble character? This question opens a tribute to a capable wife, a woman of excellence in her being and character. An excellent woman is one who knows how to grab heaven and apply it to earth so life becomes better for everyone under her influence.

31:11-12 This woman is wise in her ways as well as in her words. Therefore, her husband trusts in her (31:11) and is blessed by her (31:12). If seeking a wife, you can find a pretty woman. You can find a rich woman. But many a man has been disappointed when he discovered that the elegance he saw on the outside didn’t match what was on the inside. So find a wise woman of noble character who loves God, and don’t let her go.

31:13-27 Notice that this woman prioritizes her family. God has given a woman the unique responsibility of watching over the activities of her household (31:27). The word household shows up three times in this section (31:15, 21, 27), indicating the attention a woman of real excellence gives to her family and its needs. In all of her endeavors, she’s making sure the home is run effectively and efficiently. She understands the central place that the home plays in the kingdom of God. And while the husband’s role is to be the head of the home, the wife is the chief operating officer—the internal home manager. She is never idle (31:27). Rather than bored, she’s industrious.

What we have here is one amazing person. She is like the merchant ships, bringing her food from far away (31:14). She has business acumen. She spends money wisely and uses it in the best way to get maximum productivity for the benefit of her family. That’s what’s happening when she evaluates a field and buys it and plants a vineyard with her earnings (31:16). When Paul encourages women to be “workers at home” (Titus 2:5) and to “manage their households” (1 Tim 5:14), he doesn’t mean they have to stay inside the four walls of a house twenty-four hours a day. He means that everything a woman does outside the home complements what goes on inside the home; it doesn’t compete with it.

She also has a ministry: Her hands reach out to the poor, and she extends her hands to the needy (31:20). In other words, she’s not talking on the phone or engaging on social media all day. She’s not gossiping. She’s too busy to do things like that. Instead, she’s helping others who are less fortunate. She’s busy making money, making a difference, and investing in others. When she does speak, she speaks wisdom, and loving instruction is on her tongue (31:26). When she talks, she has something worth saying. She has the ability to use the right words at the right time as she encounters real-life situations. Her husband benefits from the fact that he’s married to such a rare lady (31:23).

31:28-29 What’s her reward? Her children rise up and call her blessed; her husband also praises her. They rightly value her and make a big deal of her. They know she’s worth her weight in gold.

31:30 In summary, charm is deceptive and beauty is fleeting, but a woman who fears the Lord will be praised. Time has a way of erasing beauty. No matter how physically attractive you are when young, that face in your mirror is going to change. The years and the decades guarantee that for all of us. What will last, though, is the inward person being renewed day by day even while the outward person is perishing (see 2 Cor 4:17). Ideally, a woman’s internal class and her divine fear of God will shine, and those are beauty indicators that time can’t erase.

The secret to this lady’s modus operandi is found in her fear of the Lord. The reason she was wise, the reason she could prioritize her family, the reason she had everything in order is because she took God seriously. She had a divine worldview. The marketplace didn’t control her; her friends didn’t control her; the television didn’t control her. God controlled her, and so her decisions were divinely authored.

31:31 Therefore, the writer concludes, give her the reward of her labor, and let her works praise her. Since she’s a woman who goes the extra mile, let what she does bring her praise. The reason we forget to praise women of excellence in our marriages and homes is that we get used to them. We take them for granted. But offering praise is like watering a flower, thus allowing its buds to open up. So praise the godly women in your life and watch them blossom. This is the way God designed life to be lived, so let’s be wise and live accordingly.