Why It's Important to Seek Out Non-Christian Friends Too

Before I get started on the ways my non-Christian friends bless me, I want to list the wrong ways to approach our non-believing friends. They are not:

1. A Checklist or Project

Please don’t read this article and go seek out a non-believing person to “work on.” You are not going to change someone by grabbing coffee and lecturing them. Think of how you would feel if someone did this to you. God calls us into community with others, not to meet someone, check off that you shared the Gospel with them and then abandon them.

2. Your Everything

I’d call at least one of my non-Christian friends a best friend. But she is not my only best friend. I have a couple of other strong Christian ladies who I can turn to for encouragement and Biblical hope. As I stated above, we are meant to live in community, but Christian community is incredibly important for believers. Have non-Christian friends, but also make sure you are plugged into a church, Bible study or other community of believers.

3. A Break

I’ll talk a little later on about how we are called to be Christ’s ambassadors. That means we are always on display. Non-believing friends and family may not read the Bible or go to church. They may not know any other Christians (except for the extremists they see online or in the news.) So they are going to look to you, even if they don’t ask outright. This is not the time for you to put your faith aside and just kick back. Be aware of the things that make you stumble (drinking, gossiping, swearing) and make sure that your non-believing friend isn’t drawing you into these sins. It can be so much easier to slide into bad habits around them. Stay vigilant.

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“Hey, what do you think about this?”

My friend and I feel comfortable talking about pretty much anything. And that includes my faith. If she sees a joke or tweet relating to Christianity online, she’ll usually send it to me. Sometimes it’s something innocent and funny that we can both laugh about … sometimes it’s problematic. But I know that she is always looking for my honest feedback and opinion.

These memes or tweets have opened up some great conversations about the love of God and the true nature of the Gospel. And they make me think before responding.

When we are surrounded by one single group so much, we get comfortable and can take for granted that everyone knows, understands and believes the same thing. If you are a rocket scientist and you spent most of your time with coworkers, then you will start to forget after a while that everyone else doesn’t have the same understanding of advanced physics as you do. The same can be true of our Christianity. Can you explain the basics to someone?

Jesus spent some of His precious little time on earth with non-believers. He did it to give them a glimpse of the hope that only He can give. Jesus is a Physician ministering to the sick, not the healthy (Mark 2:17). He didn’t just discuss the deep stuff with His disciples – He spent time with others, explaining the beauty and hope of the Gospel, and challenging them in many ways too.

Your relationship with non-Christian friends should be mutually beneficial. As you reflect Christ with your life, you should encourage your friend. In turn, you should hold their thoughts and beliefs up against your own. Ask yourself, frequently, what does the Bible say about that? My non-Christian friends casually say things that my Christians friends would never; don’t just handwave it, and don’t be easily offended. Really think about what they are saying. Is it true? Why or why not?

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I want to make this next point carefully, because I love my friends. As non-believers, they are all living in sin, as all of us were before repenting and turning to Christ (Ephesians 2:1-3). Part of that means they make decisions that don’t align with Scripture, because that isn’t a part of their lives.

As a friend, I will always offer advice when they ask for it and encourage them to make decisions that align with my values, because I know that following Christ leads to life. But, my friends are free to make their own choices. Sometimes they decide on a different path. Again, I will always be there to offer comfort when these decisions lead to messy outcomes, but a part of my soul is so glad to know that I have a bright, shining light in Christ to follow.

Don’t get me wrong – as a human being, I make wrong decisions all the time too. I’m not a better person than my friends because I’m a Christian. But I do have a better guide to follow. I think of it this way: my friends are grasping in the dark for the path, while I, in Christ, can see the lighthouse ahead guiding my way. If I choose to stray from that brightly lit path, there will be consequences just the same as my friend’s. But the path is always open for me to return.

The path is also open and waiting for my friend, if the Holy Spirit moves in her heart and guides her to it. The path is open to everyone on earth, and it is so much better than stumbling in the dark. I see this when my friends make bad decisions. I see the pain that their sin causes them, and often causes others. And I see the ways that God’s law is truly best. I say this not self-righteously, but in thankfulness, that God has blessed us with His law and guidance. Rather than a holy buzzkill, we can look at God’s rules and see the way that He cares for us and wants to help.

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2 Corinthians 5:20 says that we are “Christ’s ambassadors.” That means that we represent Christ and the Gospel everywhere we go, in everything we say and do. We are never “off the clock,” and certainly not around our non-Christian friends.

Texting my friend, sitting in a crowded restaurant for trivia night, or commiserating about boy problems: all of these are times when I need to remember to represent Christ well. Even if I don’t want to, the Holy Spirit sometimes tugs at my heart, encouraging me to pray or say something to them.

This is surely the most important part of having a non-Christian friend, but can be the most intimidating. We should always be ready to share the Gospel with our non-Christian friends. This doesn’t have to mean you sit them down one day for a lecture – actually please don’t do that. But as you do life together, pray that the Holy Spirit would provide good openings for you to discuss this with your friend. Pray that the Lord would open your friend’s heart, to be receptive to what you say. And pray also that you would be courageous when those moments do come.

I love my friends – Christian and non-Christian alike. They are funny, and kind, and supportive. I don’t want anything to happen to them. So knowing that death is promised to any who reject Christ should spur me to action. I shouldn’t just care about my friend’s health or well-being, I should care intimately about the state of her soul as well, and pray that the Lord would speak truth, through me, to her.

Even if my friend never accepts Christ into her life for the length of our friendship, perhaps she will at a later date. Our God is all-powerful, and He plays a long game sometimes. He can use me to plant a seed in my friend’s heart, and maybe I’ll never see it grow. But God has a plan for them, and we should never stop praying.

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In college, we used to say we lived in the “CNU bubble.” The city surrounding my college has some rough spots, but we were always safe and secure in our little campus. We didn’t leave much, and I didn’t know a single thing about what went on in the city surrounding us.

Friend, I would challenge you not to live in a “Christian bubble.” The world around us is hurting and broken, and you pass so many people every day who need to know the love of Christ. Don’t assume someone else will share it with them. Leaving a Bible verse with your check or dropping church invitations on doorsteps can be a great first step, but what everyone really needs is a friend.

This is a big ask when you think about it. Friendships take time and dedication – it isn’t something that happens overnight, and it isn’t something I can just give up on one day. If I’m honest, my non-Christian friends do shock me sometimes. I can find myself in situations that make me a bit uncomfortable – certainly not part of my safe little Christian bubble. But as Paul reminds us in Romans 10:14 “How, then, can they call on the one they have not believed in? And how can they believe in the one of whom they have not heard? And how can they hear without someone preaching to them?”

You can’t share the Good News with non-believers unless you open your life up to them. Cultivate good friendships with non-believers. Don’t let the temptations of the world draw you away from Christ, but use this friendship to build up your own faith and encourage someone else. What an incredible day it will be when I can call my once non-believing friend my sister in Christ.

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