How Can Churches Bridge the Generational Gap?
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The generation gap isn’t new. From ancient literature to the present day, the conflict and tension between the young and old infuses stories. The young seek to be independent and make their own way; the old preach patience and the wisdom of tradition. Because humans are sinful and selfish, this gap exists, even to an extreme.
At the same time, stories also show the ideal, what people long for. Many narratives have the young and old both learn from the other and reconcile. We might not see it in our own lives, but both generations long for it.
Our modern society has only increased the gap between generations. Yet the ideal exists. We long for reconciliation and peace, even if we don’t know how to achieve it. The ideal comes from somewhere, our Creator, and being made in his image. It shouldn’t surprise us, then, that God wants to provide this.
The Need for Intergenerational Churches
The New Testament reveals the Christian church as a single family that incorporates generations and cultures, all with God as Father. In Ephesians, Paul declares how Jesus, through the cross, has made both Jew and Gentile one, breaking down the enmity between them, and creating a new humanity in the family of God (Ephesians 2:14-22). Founded in Christ and the Spirit, the church has no divisions based on external things. The household of God is intergenerational and intercultural.
With this in mind, Paul points the church to focus on the Spirit, maintaining unity there in the one body, Lord, and faith (Ephesians 4:1-6).
Paul’s letter to Ephesus also shows how he expected all ages to hear God’s word together. He wrote the letter to be read to the whole congregation at once, and he addressed wives and husbands, children and fathers, servants and masters in the same letter (Ephesians 5:22-6:9). He tells children to obey their parents (Ephesians 6:1), and parents must raise up the next generation to revere God without provoking the kids to anger or wrath (Ephesians 6:4). Both generations receive Paul’s instructions at once.
Other letters have the same pattern. Titus 2:1-8 teaches older men and women to model godliness to the young. Paul encourages Timothy with family language in the church, to treat older men “as fathers … older women as mothers, younger women as sisters” (1 Timothy 5:1-2). At the outset of the church, when the Spirit fell at Pentecost, the prophecy included all generations — “your sons and your daughters shall prophesy … your old men shall dream dreams” (Acts 2:17).
Since the new covenant is based on the Spirit, human distinctions shouldn’t be reason to divide. The call is to Christ, not our worldly ideas of generations. At the same time, Paul encourages people to honor one another in their earthly roles, either as parents or children, all under the context of a higher, heavenly expression of love and unity.
God created and loves all people, so the biblical church will prove intergenerational and intercultural by design. We gather all ages and cultures under the same gospel in the church, a place where we mutually encourage and equip one another to grow up into Christ.
However, the world influences the church. And local fellowships can find themselves in a place where their community skews too young or too old. Some don’t recognize this as a problem. But for those of us who seek to have the powerful intergenerational church of God, what should we do in such cases?
What Should We Do in Churches with Too Many Older Saints?
First of all, a church with many older saints should be thankful for them. Their wisdom and experience have value. Then, we should act in ways to welcome younger believers. This will require the older saints to understand new traditions and structures that might be necessary to grow and improve the church. Not that their ways or preferences are bad, but leadership must teach how holding onto old traditions can be dangerous.
In these discussions, we should constantly affirm the value the older Christians have, and all they have to encourage the younger generation in love and relationship. Scripture calls the whole body to “look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others” (Philippians 2:4). We should cast the vision of an unchanging gospel with flexible methods and styles. Along with teaching the power of an intergenerational church, there are a few practical ways to move forward.
With such a vision, lead the church to start praying for opportunities to bless younger people. This should be foundational. Be humble with God and seek his help.
Celebrate God-stories from young people. Pray over them and show them as examples of faith.
Include the young as part of the church’s decision-making process. This will give them a feeling of ownership. Add young believers to elder boards, ministry teams, and worship planning. Maybe have term limits to make sure leadership is shared. Develop internship programs to grow young leaders. Invite younger believers to read Scripture and lead prayers.
Renew the worship and visual space. Sing newer songs alongside older hymns. Make transitions shorter and increase the participation of the whole church, giving voice to more people. Possibly rebrand and update the signage. Provide good, missional coffee. In the lobby or other areas of the church, create spaces where families or small groups can sit together and relax.
Think about mentorship programs beyond ministry-oriented ones. Older Christians have experience in industry and careers. Pair them up with younger Christians in creative ways.
Younger believers believe in causes and gather around doing good. Engage the community and the city. Adopt a local school, serve the hungry, and join in work for justice and mercy (Micah 6:8). Have young and old serve together as a family. Measure success with more than attendance.
Communicate where younger people can see it. Revamp the website. Use texting and social media. Simplify your messaging: “Join and Serve.”
Again, honor older saints as essential shepherds, but don’t let nostalgia be an idol. Keep the message biblical and challenging while the methods change.
What Should We Do in Churches with Too Many Younger Christians?
If a church skews young, it should find ways to activate the older believers within the paths of discipleship.
Just as with the problem above, it begins with vision. Teach the younger church how the ideal is a faith community of different generations. Getting buy-in becomes central, and proper teaching and messaging can help people see the need. Share testimonies that reveal the success of cross-generational relationships and cooperation. With this goal, we can start looking at making space for others.
Create simple “on-ramps” for the older saints to participate. Start groups with a small number, combining 3-4 younger believers with two mentors. Have the groups last a couple months. Highlight the need for living Christian life together: reading Scripture, prayer, sharing life stories, and going on mission together. Another great idea could be having older families host a monthly meal at their house. Have older saints lead pre-service prayers and even lay hands on younger believers to bless them.
Give the older saints real responsibility. Put them on teams for teaching, prayer, visitation, or even membership interviews. The elders could co-lead a team with a younger believer.
Celebrate the legacy of the older generation. Have elder saints share their stories of God’s faithfulness through the seasons of life. As we mentioned above, have the older generation offer more practical workshops in marriage, parenting, peacemaking, budgeting, interviewing skills, etc. Older people love to share all they’ve learned, and younger individuals need life lessons. On a practical level, don’t have meetings that go too late.
Begin some intergenerational prayer teams that adopt missionaries, parachurch ministries, and schools. Choose corporate service projects friendly to older believers.
What Are Practical Ways to Foster Intergenerational Churches?
Along with the suggestions above, here are a few more thoughts on practical ways to foster intergenerational churches.
There will be resistance to changes. This is normal. Generally speaking, churches that skew older got that way because one generation favored their methods and preferences in music, teaching style, and more. These traditions and forms spoke to them decades ago and have become part of their identity, to some degree. They want younger believers to join their preferences.
Churches that skew younger attracted believers with their styles and messaging that spoke to their culture, communicating the gospel in meaningful ways. The church likely grew, and it seems these methods are “working.”
The changes themselves can be difficult enough. Getting the congregation to own it can be even more so. People in churches generally love their ministries in the church, finding purpose and meaning within them. To restructure the church can cause emotional reactions, even if it’s the right thing.
It takes a careful and gentle approach to affirm people and their value while casting a vision of how the church can improve and be even better at ministry, reaching the community, and expressing the Kingdom. This takes time, love, and proper shepherding.
First, becoming intergenerational requires reviewing and shifting programs and shared practices so they will purposefully mix ages. Make a simple calendar with repeated events where generations regularly eat, pray, serve, and learn together.
Design the Sundays for all ages, from young children to elders. Rotate Scripture and prayer leaders from kids to retired people. Blend old and new songs, and celebrate testimonies from each stage of life. What we celebrate reveals what we value. Keep that in mind.
In general, get rid of age-segregated groups, and replace them with intergenerational ones, from small groups to Sunday School times. Organize groups around mission rather than age ranges or stages of life.
Remove other practical barriers. Provide safe childcare for younger families. For older saints, give hearing assistance, clear signs, and help with transportation.
Revisit and review changes every quarter, measuring what matters: cross-age participation, mentor matching, baptisms, and more. Get rid of new ideas that aren’t working. Get input on new, creative ones to be more intergenerational. Gather stories of how these changes have resulted in transformation for every generation. Make videos of them and share on social media and play in the service.
When it gets difficult (and it will!), remind yourself of the goal — a Kingdom family of God that reveals the diversity and value of each member as important, whether different cultures or generations. The world needs this testimony and witness to the power and love of God more than ever.
Peace.
Photo credit: ©Getty Images/Orla
