A Letter to Those Struggling with Suicide 

Have you been thinking about suicide or wondering whether the people around you would be better off without you? Have you been thinking about suicide? Then you are not as alone as you may feel. CDC data estimates that 14.3 million U.S. adults seriously thought about suicide in 2024. Working as a clinical psychologist allows me to witness people’s sensitive sides. Whether the world appraises them as cunning corporate executives or fierce advocates or resourceful retirees, I get to witness my clients’ hidden identities. I’m privy to the depth of their sorrow.

Suicidal thoughts can nag your awareness even when others celebrate you. I don’t know how committed you are to thinking through a plan or feeling closer to acting on those thoughts. Maybe it’s only been a passing thought—“wouldn’t it be wonderful if I were gone?”—without putting any more stock into the notion. Or you might’ve lingered longer with the scenario, imagining how so-and-so would react once they found the last note you’d scribbled. You might’ve taken things a step further and attempted to snuff out your life.

Wherever you are on the trajectory, I’d like to propose us having a heart-to-heart. Here. On my part, I’ll be honest and gentle with you. I only ask that you digest this article with an open heart. Deal?

Let me spare you the suspense and skip straight to the point: I don’t want you to die. Before you keep reading, please tell one safe person what is happening, call or text 988, or move yourself away from anything you could use to harm yourself. This isn’t because I don’t care about your pain or suffering. Rather, it’s because your life is precious. You may have scoffed at what I just said. I get it. Perhaps life hasn’t felt valuable in a long time (if ever), which birthed your death wish. But I’d like to share why I believe your life is worth saving.

Let’s begin by reviewing some of the thoughts you might’ve heard in your head and what I might say to you if we were chatting:

What if the Pain Feels Unbearable?

Maybe the one you loved more than life has died or abandoned you in some other way. Or maybe you’ve been bullied. Brutalized. Raped. Or perhaps you’re battling physical pain. Whether a doctor diagnosed you with a fatal disease or an accident substituted your carefree days with chronic pain, you feel trapped. The intense anguish won't quit, and it makes life oppressive.

I can relate. Since my father’s unexpected passing, a grieving part of me has been longing to fast forward to heaven—where he is—rather than muck around in agony down here. While I empathize with my part’s deep yearning, however, I have zero plans or intentions to harm myself. Other therapists did the opposite. They tried killing themselves but survived the attempt. One grew furious at God for keeping her alive, but now she aims to help others. 

You can decide to live, too. Ask God for extra grace to buoy you through your difficult circumstances (2 Corinthians 12:9). Since He is the Alpha and Omega (Revelation 1:8, Revelation 22:13), the beginning and the end, you can ask Him to help you end well—in His time. Have the confidence that God is close to the brokenhearted (Psalm 34:18). His ears are open to you (Psalm 34:15, 1 Peter 3:12).

What if I Feel Like a Burden?

If your objective is to make it easier on your loved ones, killing yourself will only defeat the purpose. That’s because when someone commits suicide, those left behind often struggle with long-term guilt and shame. That’s not all. If you were to exit early, it’s possible for other family members to mimic you and kill themselves in the future. The Hemmingways illustrate this tragic principle; seven members of this family died at their own hands, including Ernest, the legendary novelist. I don’t know why you believe you’re dead weight to your family. (They may vehemently dispute you on this). Still, you can ask God to give them the strength and grace to face their responsibilities—and if this includes you, so be it.

What If I Feel Unwanted or Rejected?

I’m so sorry if this thought has been rattling around in your mind. Perhaps you feel unloved because Mom screamed in your face that you’re her biggest mistake. Or she tried to abort you or put you up for adoption. Or maybe your caregivers did their best to abuse you, or someone somewhere did something else that planted the seed of rejection early on.

Feeling unwanted can definitely destroy us. But how about considering this thought in a new light? Instead of uniting with it—as though the entirety of you agrees that you deserve death—consider this thought as just a part of you. 

Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy, the theory I use in my practice, explains that our soul contains multiple parts. Acknowledging this doesn’t make you crazy. So, what if you were to tell the part that feels rejected that you want it? Just as you wouldn’t want to amputate any of your toes, nose, or any other body parts, let any part of your soul that feels rejected know that, as far as you’re concerned, you desire that part. There are ways to help every part of us feel wanted. More on this later.

What If Life Feels Too Hard to Keep Going?

Agreed. If making ends meet was hard before, each new day's slew of current events proves that life can get immensely harder. But here’s the thing: nobody gets here, on earth, by accident. The man and woman behind your conception might not have planned it, but if you’re still breathing, that’s because God’s hand has been on you from day one. 

Consider how God multiplied your tiny cell into an embryo and placed a call on you even then (Jeremiah 1:5). When it was time for your birth, God “separated [you] from [your] mother’s womb” (Galatians 1:15, NKJV). He stood ready to love on you from the moment you arrived (Psalm 22:10). As you grew up, He then sent an angel to guard you (Matthew 18:10). He decreed good things for your future (Jeremiah 29:11). The Lord values you so much that whenever you cry, He stores your tears like they’re treasures (Psalm 56:8). He’s vowed never to abandon you no matter what (Hebrews 13:5).

The thing is, God has nurtured and protected you from childhood. He will keep taking care of you because He never changes (Hebrews 13:8). But you have to let Him do it. Let’s unpack the how.

How Can I Give God Time When I Feel Desperate?

Spell out your needs to Him. Tell God you’re relinquishing every care into His hands Psalm 55:22, Psalm 62:8, Matthew 11:28, Philippians 4:6-7, 1 Peter 5:7). He’s the One who meticulously crafted you (Psalm 139:13-14). He should take responsibility for your well-being, right? But please pair your prayer with time for God to respond. Before you brush me off, understand that I’ve been allergic to waiting. Impatience has frequently short-circuited my waiting because I couldn’t carry on one moment longer—and yet if I had, a pleasurable outcome would’ve resulted. Maybe I’ll tell you some of these stories next time.

The point is, I know how distressing waiting is. But I also know that God’s relief often comes in the form of human participation. Maybe, in response to your earnest prayers, God is moving on a neighbor to visit. Or maybe He’s telling a friend to mail you a thoughtful gift. There are millions of possibilities on how God might use people to let you know you matter. But because people are notoriously “slow to believe” (Luke 24:25) and therefore slower to respond to His nudges, we have to learn to wait for the answer. Which means you can’t kill yourself in the meantime.

Where Can I Get Help for Suicidal Thoughts Right Now?

Would you join me and wait on God together? Meanwhile, consider these therapy-related websites:

• IFS, the theory I mentioned previously, can help you love every part of your soul, including the pieces that might be wounded/rejected/yearning for escape. Look for certified and trained IFS therapists around the world here.
• Focus on the Family’s Christian Counselor Network lists nationwide Christian therapists.

You can also:

• bookmark the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline or call them at 1-800-273-8255. 
• Text "STRENGTH" to the Crisis Text Line at 741-741.
• Go to www.SpeakingOfSuicide.com/resources.
• Adopt a pet. Pets have a way to help us wring enjoyment out of life a bit more.

Finally, “may the LORD bless you and protect you. May the LORD smile on you and be gracious to you. May the LORD show you his favor and give you his peace” (Numbers 6:24-26, NLT).

And may you let Him do so.

Frequently Asked Questions about Suicidal Thoughts and Christian Hope

• What should I do if I am thinking about suicide right now?
  Call or text 988, tell one safe person near you, and move away from anything you could use to harm yourself. You do not have to handle this moment alone.
• Does having suicidal thoughts mean I have failed God?
  No. Suicidal thoughts often show that a person is carrying overwhelming pain, exhaustion, trauma, depression, or despair. God is near to the brokenhearted, and asking for help is not failure.
• Can Christians get professional help for suicidal thoughts?
  Yes. Christians can seek help from therapists, doctors, crisis counselors, pastors, trusted friends, and family members. Professional care can be one way God provides support and protection.
• What Bible verse can I hold onto when I feel suicidal?
  Psalm 34:18 is a strong place to begin: God is near to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.
• How can I help someone who may be suicidal?
  Take their words seriously, stay with them if possible, ask directly if they are thinking about suicide, help them contact 988 or emergency care, and do not leave them isolated in immediate danger.

For Further Reading

• Bible Verses for Those Struggling with Suicide
• 7 Lies of Suicide and Hope for the Struggling Christian
• 5 Things Christians Need to Understand about Suicide
• Can Christians Be Depressed? A Faith-Based Look at Mental Health
• 3 Prayers for Your Loved One Experiencing Depression and Sadness

Photo Credit: ©Getty Images/splendens

Dr. Audrey Davidheiser (www.aimforbreakthrough.com) is a licensed psychologist in California, certified Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapist, and IFSI-approved clinical consultant. After founding a counseling center for the Los Angeles Dream Center, she now provides IFS therapy for trauma survivors, including those with religious trauma, and assists in IFS trainings. She has been a regular writer for Crosswalk.com and columnist for iBelieve.com. Her book on how IFS helps the grieving process, Grieving Wholeheartedly, was published by InterVarsity Press in July 2025. Follow her on Facebook, Instagram, Substack @DrAudreyD.