What Is a "Holy Kiss" in the Bible?
Share
Years ago, while living in Korea, I periodically taught how the New Testament says several times to greet a brother with a holy kiss. My goal was to teach this as a symbol to treat the local fellowship like family, but also, members of the US Air Force and Army made up a big part of our ex-pat community. And I thought it was a fun way to share the truth of church family among “manly” soldiers.
I had one very good friend, a Lieutenant in the Air Force; he and I were truly like brothers. He would tell me, “You’re right, the Bible does say it, but don’t ever kiss me!” Many in our friend group thought this amusing.
When he and his wife left Korea, we stood with our close friend group after Sunday church service. We said tearful goodbyes. And when this Lieutenant came to give me a hug, I planted a big kiss on his cheek. He jumped back and laughed, and everyone laughed with us.
We’re still close friends to this day.
Truly, my goal was never to have people actually kiss one another. Instead, I used the apostle Paul’s clear instruction to point to how we should express the spiritual closeness we have with other disciples in Christ.
Where Does the Bible Mention the Holy Kiss?
It surprises people when I tell them, but the New Testament says to greet each other with a “holy kiss” four times, from the apostle Paul to four different churches.
In Romans 16:16, Paul writes, “Greet one another with a holy kiss. All the churches of Christ greet you.” Paul would often close his letters with personal greetings and wisdom. In Romans, he recognizes a long list of people and their ministry to Christ and others. The “holy kiss” instruction encourages spiritual fellowship to show each other practical affection within the diverse Roman congregation, with both Jews and Gentiles.
Paul writes again in 1 Corinthians 16:20: “All the brothers send you greetings. Greet one another with a holy kiss.” Again, the apostle gives a personal note toward the end of his first letter to this immature church, one with a number of spiritual and relational issues. Earlier in the letter, he addressed the divisions in the church, how they sued each other over worldly matters. Here, Paul calls the Corinthians to visibly express affection and familial love in the Body of Christ.
In his next letter to the same church, Paul commands toward the end of the letter, “Greet one another with a holy kiss.” (1 Corinthians 13:12) The apostolic letter deals with more personal and doctrinal issues, including how they treated Paul as an authority. Here at the close, he encourages the church to “aim for restoration, comfort one another, agree with another, live in peace.” (2 Corinthians 13:11) His next statement repeats the call to greet brothers and sisters with a holy kiss, a symbol of the restoration and peace.
Finally, in 1 Thessalonians 5:26, Paul simply says, “Greet all the brothers with a holy kiss.” This comes after some practical instructions for Christian living in spiritual community. Paul encourages the local church to encourage the downcast, help the weak, and be patient with each other. The holy kiss once more symbolizes the acceptance of every member of the faith family.
Since Paul shares this practical instruction four times to three different churches, we can infer it was something he taught to every fellowship. It wasn’t a sexual or romantic kiss. On the contrary, it was meant to be for brothers and sisters in the same family. Paul took a common cultural greeting and expanded it to mean something more spiritual and eternal.
How Did the Culture Look at Greeting with a Kiss?
Both the Greco-Roman and Jewish cultures greeted some people with a kiss.
In the Roman or Hellenistic culture, a kiss was a common greeting, especially among men of equal status. It communicated friendship and kinship. A kiss on the cheek or forehead meant a certain level of affection, and a kiss on the lips might indicate deeper friendship or love between family members. Roman society had different kinds of kisses: osculum (friendly), basium (romantic), and suavium (a really passionate kiss). The osculum was for public, social greetings. Soldiers might greet one another with a kiss after not seeing each other for a while, and political allies might kiss to signify their loyalty. Public osculum kisses could point to social standing. Someone of higher class might grant a kiss to a person of lower status, but the reverse only happened with permission.
For Paul to tell the church to greet one another with a holy kiss would have been a radical statement. Churches in these Roman cities, especially the capital itself, included Jews and Gentiles, people of vastly different ethnic and social groups. To greet with a kiss would have expressed the equality of all people in the church, regardless of class or race.
Greeting with a kiss also had meaning in the Jewish culture, even with a biblical background. A kiss on the forehead or beard was a respectful act toward elders or teachers, and this made Judas’ kiss such a deep and hurtful betrayal of Jesus (Luke 22:47). The Jewish culture had strong boundaries on physical affection, however. Kisses were reserved for family or very close companions, not given lightly by any means. And it would almost never happen between a Jew and a Gentile, who were considered unclean.
So for Paul, a Jew and educated Pharisee, to continually urge believers to greet each other with a “holy kiss,” this would have been a sign of family, loyalty, equality, and close kinship between people of different ethnicities and classes, even slaves and masters. Such an expression would have radically expressed the love of Christ and the Father’s family to the surrounding culture.
Why Did Paul Call it a Holy Kiss?
When Paul says to greet one another with a “holy kiss,” the Greek phrase is philema hagion. Philema is kiss, modified by the next word, hagion, meaning holy (set apart and sacred).
Paul uses this phrase four times, and the apostle Peter uses a similar phrase in 1 Peter 5:14, a “kiss of love,” or philmeati agapes. These terms pointed to a non-sexual kiss, one that communicated God’s love and a transcendent family.
Paul and Peter called upon biblical background for such a kiss. Jacob and Esau kissed in a moment of reconciliation (Genesis 34:4). Joseph kissed his brothers when he forgave them (Genesis 45:15). Samuel kissed Saul when anointing him as king (1 Samuel 10:1). David and Jonathan had such a close relationship, closer than brothers, expressed with a kiss (1 Samuel 20:41). In these cases from Scripture, the kiss went beyond culture. It carried spiritual and relational meaning, even covenantal like when David and Jonathan made a covenant of friendship. In the Gospel, Paul brings every believer into this pattern and tradition. As the family of God, the lineage of faith now included any and all who believed.
Paul called it holy, set apart by God, different than the world’s idea of a kiss. In Christ, no one was unclean, too low or high, too foreign to be greeted as such. For slaves and masters, Jews and Gentiles, Roman citizens and noncitizens, rich and poor, to all greet one another as such would have been a radical expression to the world of how the church had one identity in Christ and not in the ways of the world. This would have truly set them apart as of another Kingdom.
What Do These Passages about Greeting with a Holy Kiss Mean for Us Today?
This doesn’t mean we have to greet each other with a kiss on the cheek out of some literal or legalistic notion. But the principles matter. Often, we allow cultural or social barriers to be expressed in the church. This expresses a lie. These barriers don’t exist in the family of God.
Whatever our culture, we must greet and treat the Body of Christ with honor and intimacy, as true equals in Christ. This means welcoming, accepting, and honoring believers across racial, social, economic, or other boundaries with familial-type affection, with words and actions. And this expression must be public enough to be seen by the world.
Paul challenged the church to practically live out heaven on earth. Worldly backgrounds and labels (nationality, class, appearance, or our past) don’t impact our identity. In Christ and the Spirit in us, our God identity transcends all others. We are a holy people, united by the Spirit and adopted into a Kingdom family. God calls us to live in a way that reflects that eternal reality. If or when we treat believers as less valuable or allow any cultural distance, we express the wrong identity.
We can show such affection through a handshake, a hug, or a warm smile. And I’ve found it important to ask before showing affection in today’s society. In any event, the heart must remain. Participate in visible affection and unity.
I’ll close with one more example from Korea. My wife and I taught at an international Christian school, and we had a type of “handyman,” Mr. Song. An elderly Korean man, Mr. Song was an amazing man of God and truly served us, treating us like family.
Korean men will hold hands in public as a sign of friendship, affection, and brotherhood. We read about this before we moved to the country, and it was still odd to see two Korean army men holding hands while walking down the street.
Once, while walking with Mr. Song down a crowded street, he reached out and took my hand.
I almost started crying right there. He was communicating to the world how this young American was his brother, his close friend, crossing cultural and generational boundaries. He took a Korean cultural expression and made it holy.
This is what Paul wanted us to realize when we read, “Greet one another with a holy kiss.”
Peace.
Photo credit: ©Getty Images/LightFieldStudios
