9 Tips for Christian Parents of Teenagers
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“Wait till they’re teenagers,” I’d always hear whenever I lamented about my toddlers throwing tantrums in the grocery store. I inferred from these comments that the teen years would be far more challenging.
If we’re out and we encounter a snotty cashier at the drive-through window, I strive to handle myself politely and with compassion. But after we drive away, I will often acknowledge to my kids that it was really hard for me to remain kind. I admit that perhaps I wanted to snap back at the cashier or ask for the manager, but instead I tried to treat that cashier the way I knew Jesus probably would have.
Similarly, if I’m going through a conflict at work or have to make an important decision, I might share that with them and acknowledge that I don’t know the solution, but that I plan to pray to God about it and ask God to guide me, and I ask them to pray for me, too.
It helps us stay real and rooted together.
If we watch a movie or hear a song and questionable topics arise, I use it as an opportunity to talk about heavier matters with them. Or sometimes they’re the ones who bring up the topics. I try not to get embarrassed when they asked me candid questions about sex, drugs, drinking, or how to resist temptation. I’m glad they come to me about it, and if I don’t know the answer, we might look it up together.
We talk about what it realistically looks like to be a Christian in a worldly culture that doesn’t always reflect the values we have. We talk about those struggles.
We parents can drive ourselves bonkers with worry. I strive to resist that. Instead, I just pray over my kids and release them to the protection of the Lord. There are so many changes involved with growing up, and so many milestones. Whether it’s going to high school or college, getting a driver’s license, or dating, worries abound. But I try to remember that my worry won’t do anything to help. God provides for all of my needs and theirs as well. I just need to have faith and trust everything will be OK.
Just like when they were little and I would praise my kids for doing something nice, I try to do the same thing now that they’re teenagers. If my son holds the door for me, I acknowledge it and thank him. If my daughter comforts a friend who is stressed out, I praise her for being compassionate and helpful. It’s important to let our kids know that we see them when they are doing the right thing and we appreciate the people they are — and that we see the adults they will one day become.
We have five more years until everyone is off to college, and I’m still learning. But these lessons have helped us all so far, and I share them with you in the hopes they might help you, too. What have I missed? Do you have any other helpful suggestions for Christian parenting today’s teens?
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