7 Things We Can Control, and How God Walks with Us in Each of Them

Award-winning Christian Novelist and Journalist
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7 Things We Can Control, and How God Walks with Us in Each of Them

I’m certain we’ve all been there — that moment when everything in life seems to come to an overwhelming point and we’re left frustrated, wondering how we can possibly handle all the challenges going on right now.

We vow to make changes, sure that with enough will, persistence, and hard work we can overcome the obstacles before us. But sometimes in all this persistence we hit a wall, confusing the things we can control with the things far beyond our control.

When we expend a massive amount of energy and worry trying to change or impact the things beyond our control, it becomes an exercise in futility, leading to irritation, despair, and even burnout.

The Bible has much to say about finding rest in the Lord. True rest is relief from anxiety; it’s understanding there are things beyond our control that God alone can handle. It’s trusting that God does indeed care about these things and has a plan for them, but there’s little to nothing we can do on our own about them.

In Psalm 46:10 the Lord reminds us, “Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.”

In Jeremiah 32:27, he says, “I am the Lord, the God of all mankind. Is anything too hard for me?”

Let’s take a look at the things we can control and the things beyond our control, understanding that God is with us in all of them.

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What Are the Things We Can Control?

hands holding fairy lights in hands in darkness

As Proverbs 19:21 reminds us, “Many are the plans in a person’s heart, but it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails.”

We need to remember that God created the world, the universe, and everything within it. Indeed, God created space and time, and he created us along with every other human being upon this earth.

In James 4:14, the apostle reminds us that we are merely “a mist” that appears for a little while and then vanishes. Jesus tells us that he is the vine, and we are the branches — apart from him, we can do nothing (John 5:15).

But God, when he created man and woman, gave each of us free will. In Genesis 2:15-17, he gave humans the run of his garden, allowing us to eat almost anything we wish. In Deuteronomy 30:19 we’re told that God sets before his people “life and death, blessings and curses,” though he encourages us all to choose life.

The things within our control are the things we can choose:

  • Our boundaries
  • Our thoughts
  • Our actions
  • The goals we set
  • How we speak to ourselves
  • How we handle challenges
  • What we devote our time and energy to

What Are the Things Beyond Our Control?

The rest is beyond our control. As the Lord swears in Isaiah 14:24, “Surely, as I have planned, so it will be, and as I have purposed, so it will happen.” And as he adds in Isaiah 45:7, “I form the light and create darkness, I bring prosperity and create disaster; I, the Lord, do all these things.”

The rest of life is beyond our control. We cannot control the actions of other people, or their opinions. We might try to influence these things, but we absolutely cannot control them. We cannot control how other people take care of themselves, and we cannot control what they think of us.

As well, we cannot control of what happens around us. Psalm 115:3 reminds us, “Our God is in heaven; he does whatever pleases him.” We cannot control the future or the past, either.

We also cannot control the outcome of our efforts. We can set goals and handle everything to the very best of our ability, but the outcome? That is not up to us. It is beyond our control.

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How Can God Help with the Things under Our Control?

Woman praying

But for the things we can control — our actions and thoughts, our choices and our boundaries — God has promised that he is with us and available to help us with them.

God pledges in Isaiah 41:10, “So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”

The psalmist comforts himself in Psalm 23:4 by reminding himself, “Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.”

And 1 John 4:16 tells us we can know and rely on the love God has for us, for, “God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in them.”

He walks with us; those of us who believe in Christ can trust that we have God’s Holy Spirit alive and living inside of us, helping us and advocating for us in all we do (1 Corinthians 3:16).

1. God Is with Us in Our Boundaries

Perhaps you have heard of boundaries, the lines we draw or personal limits and rules we set for ourselves within relationships.

Boundaries can be good and bad. For instance, we understand that our physical and emotional boundaries with our spouse are different from those we share with others. Or we understand that we might want to have certain rules about when or if we take business phone calls while we are spending quality time with our family. These are good boundaries.

“Bad” boundaries are allowing yourself to be manipulated or mistreated by people in a way that impacts your mental or physical health, or when you purposely create a clique and exclude someone from a ministry group that could benefit from more — or more diverse — people.

Good boundaries help our self-control. The Bible encourages us to love other people and to treat others with compassion, but to be careful in this, lest we come to love the world (James 4:4).

A number of Scriptures helps us to understand God appreciates and approves of healthy personal boundaries, for they help us stay in alignment with him and his ways. First, we know God set boundaries right away with the first people he created. He put Adam in the garden and told him he could eat anything he wished except from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, “For when you eat from it you will certainly die,” he said (Genesis 2:17).

Titus 2:11-12 says that the grace of God “teaches us to say ‘No’ to ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright and godly lives in this present age.”

And 2 Corinthians 6:14 warns, “Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?”

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2. God Is with Us in Our Thoughts

Woman with thought bubbles drawn behind her head

Our thoughts are incredibly private. Most of us would cringe if other people knew a fraction of what we’re thinking. Perhaps we might privately dislike someone we work with day after day, but we try hard to keep our opinion to ourselves. Instead, we are outwardly kind and even friendly even to people we dislike. Inside, however, we might despise them.

However, we know one important truth: we are never alone in our thoughts. God is always there, and he knows our thoughts. He knows the very essence of our hearts.

Psalm 139:1-2 tells us the Lord searches and knows us, “You know when I sit and when I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar.”

Our thoughts reflect the content of our souls. Proverbs 4:23 urges, “Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.”

Just because other people don’t know what’s in our thoughts, or because we don’t do or say what we are thinking, doesn’t mean our thoughts cannot be sinful.

Indeed, among the Ten Commandments is a sin that largely occurs in our own minds: coveting, or envy. We are not to desire after someone else’s life or lifestyle, whether their home, spouse, or possessions.  

It’s much easier to address a sin if we nix it before it goes from thought into action. For example, a man who feels lust toward someone else’s wife is sinning, but if he addresses this issue before he commits adultery through his actions, it is far easier to get back in alignment with the Lord.

Ephesians 4:22-24 encourages us to “put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; to be made new in the attitude of your minds; and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness.”

And Matthew 26:41 urges, “Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation. The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak.”

God is with us, and he wants us to control our thoughts. Do what you can on your end, knowing he’ll be there with you.

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3. God Is with Us in Our Actions

Woman working on a laptop

In 2 Timothy 1:7 we’re told that the Spirit of God living within us “gives us power, love and self-discipline.” We are therefore equipped with supernatural power to do more with the Lord than we possibly can do on our own. With him, we can fight demons and resist temptation. We can even at times, through the power of the Holy Spirit, perform healing miracles.

The Bible tells us human beings are designed in the image of God (Genesis 1:27). Therefore, while we might at times have basic, animal-like instincts, we are more than animals. We are equipped and able to control our actions — if we wish to do so.

And we should, for as the apostle Paul tells us in 2 Corinthians 5:10, “We must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ, so that each of us may receive what is due us for the things done while in the body, whether good or bad.”

But Paul also tells us that while do have urges to heed the desires of the flesh, the urges to sin, we are not alone in our fight. God will not allow us to be tempted “beyond what you can bear” (1 Corinthians 10:13), and he’ll also provide a way out of the temptation.

We don’t need to be victims of our own desires, simple souls left to the wanton passions of the flesh. We can stay holy and obedient to the Lord if we wish — this, too, is within our control.

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4. God Is with Us in the Goals We Set

Road in the mountains that says start

We also have control over the goals we set. As creatures with free will, we can decide what we wish to do. Hopefully, we make decisions that are in line with God’s plan for our lives.

As part of this, we are permitted to choose our own paths, our own career and other life goals. The Bible doesn’t say anything about God assigning us our spouse or our career at birth. Over time, we decide these things.

While we have no idea how our lives will turn out, when we will die, or whether we will face struggles, we do have the ability to set our sights on outcomes we hope — and perhaps intend — to achieve. While the outcome of those goals is not within our control, we do have control over what we choose to strive toward.

Scripture encourages setting goals and working to achieve them. But it’s important that we do so in partnership with God rather than by ourselves.

Proverbs 21:5 says, “The plans of the diligent lead to profit as surely as haste leads to poverty.”

And Proverbs 16:3 says, “Commit to the Lord whatever you do, and he will establish your plans.”

But we need to remember that we must surrender our will to God and understand that while it’s good and well to strive for a goal, God’s purpose it most important (James 4:13-15).

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5. God Is with Us in How We Speak to Ourselves

Illustration of a woman yelling, saying nasty things

Another area we can control is how we speak to ourselves. Most of us realize it is wrong to be overly harsh and critical to other people. Yet we can be awful to ourselves, berating ourselves for mistakes and failures. We talk down to ourselves in ways we might never consider doing to someone else.

We must remember we are created and beloved by God. Made in his image, we are beautiful and precious to the Lord. Why would we ever speak harshly to something or someone beloved by God?   

God hears our negative self-talk. He sees how we beat ourselves up about mistakes. Remember that Mark 12:31 tells us to love our neighbor as ourselves — not to love our neighbor more than ourselves. We are to love our neighbor and to love ourselves, and love God above all.

We can choose to speak kindly to ourselves. As Ephesians 4:29 urges, “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.”

6. God Is with Us in How We Handle Challenges

We also have control over how we handle challenges. Life isn’t meant to be easy. Jesus told us, “In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world” (John 16:33).

In Jesus, we have peace. He sent us the Holy Spirit, who walks with us and helps us. We don’t face our obstacles alone. Indeed, the Bible tells us we don’t have to worry about overcoming our obstacles. They are already handled, “Because the one who is in you is greater than the one who is in the world” (1 John 4:4).

So we can be inspired and encouraged to stand strong in the face of adversity. The battle is already won.

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7. God Is with Us in What We Devote Our Time and Energy To

Man at work looking at his watch

Finally, we have control over what we devote our time and energy to in this life. In Matthew 6:24, Jesus says, “No one can serve two masters. Either you will hate the one and love the other, or you will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and money.”

If God is our top priority, we need to choose God and God’s ways over and over. We cannot choose the ways of the flesh, the desires of the self, and truly be reflective of the Lord within us.

It doesn’t mean we cannot enjoy life and have fun. But we must understand that every day, all around us, a battle is occurring. Jesus could return at any time. Luke 21:36 urges, “Be always on the watch, and pray that you may be able to escape all that is about to happen, and that you may be able to stand before the Son of Man.”

“Stay awake” means to stay ready, to be vigilant, knowing that we must be on guard and fully present in every moment.  The apostle Paul, in Ephesians 5:16-17, tells us to make the most of every opportunity, “Because the days are evil. Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the Lord’s will is.

So don’t fret about the things you cannot control. Know that you are under the protection of the Lord, and that all will be well with you. Focus on what you can control — your boundaries, thoughts, actions, goals, how you speak to yourself, how you handle challenges, and what you devote your time and energy to — and rest easily knowing that God is taking care of the rest.  

As Psalm 139:5 reminds us, “You hem me in behind and before, and you lay your hand upon me.”

All is well.

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Jessica Brodie author photo headshotJessica Brodie is an award-winning Christian novelist, journalist, editor, blogger, and writing coach and the recipient of the 2018 American Christian Fiction Writers Genesis Award for her novel, The Memory Garden. She is also the editor of the South Carolina United Methodist Advocate, the oldest newspaper in Methodism. Her newest release is an Advent daily devotional for those seeking true closeness with God, which you can find at https://www.jessicabrodie.com/advent. Learn more about Jessica’s fiction and read her faith blog at http://jessicabrodie.com. She has a weekly YouTube devotional and podcast. You can also connect with her on Facebook,Twitter, and more. She’s also produced a free eBook, A God-Centered Life: 10 Faith-Based Practices When You’re Feeling Anxious, Grumpy, or Stressed